Life After Ph.D.

S2F: Out-Of-This-World Party Dome.

2010-12-31T15:12:00.001-06:00

Happy New Year!

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♥ds

S2E: Roads? Where we're going, we don't need roads.

2010-10-11T23:05:00.002-05:00

Yeah... I've been lagging. Sorry about that. I really have been honestly busy! Tranarchy!, Popular Linguistics, new job, Texas English Project... I've got crap to do from here til next decade. Still, no excuse is a good excuse... I'll do better.

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♥ds

S2D: Land of Lincoln

2010-09-18T22:54:00.002-05:00

Haha! Love that joke.

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♥ds

S2C: Self-time.

2010-09-14T01:12:00.002-05:00

Ah, yes... the "mement" or "mo-me". We all need them sometimes.

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♥ds

S2B: Magic Moments

2010-08-29T23:51:00.005-05:00

True story.

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♥ds

S2A: Summer's Over—ACK!

2010-08-24T01:35:00.003-05:00

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Welcome to Season Two of Life After Ph.D. – Yet Another Webcomic!

Y'know, I know it's unpopular, but I've always really loved "Cathy" comics. The news that Cathy was calling it quits really bummed me out. Cathy Guisewite... I'll miss you. It's not just manic females that suffer from body image problems, an inability to communicate with men, and chocoholism. Consider this my tribute.

Season Two of LAPhD will publish twice weekly, Monday/Tuesday and Thursday/Friday. Mark your calendars!

♥ds

Fifty-Eight: Take the two shots, or send her out?

2010-07-16T12:04:00.003-05:00

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Remember the first time you learned that Bart Simpson's pointy head was actually hair? It was an episode where they went to church, I'm sure (probably the episode where he spends the car ride home saying 'Hell'). Yeah. Same is true for Mr. Arrow. Turns out that his arrow-point head is actually his hair, and he's letting it get wild for summer. He's also wearing a Hawaiian shirt, in honor of the suburban summer traditions of his youth.

Dr. Rectangle, meanwhile, is playing croquet. He's red. He's ALWAYS red.

But anyway... 58 issues in 5ish months. Not bad, not bad at all. For real, though, please tune back in on August 23rd for the second season of Life After Ph.D. Some highlights of the new season include: The Humanatees; King Jojoba meets Chief Awapuhi; Mayor McCheese's Special Sauce; and a whole new round of characters!

See you in August!

♥ds
PS>>> I need your photos! Help me by contributing background images to LAPhD! Empty background/landscape shots are best, but really any shot taken from about four feet above the ground is good. So get on your knees, snap some shots, and e-mail them to me!

Fifty-Seven: Judge Not, Lest Pee Be Judged

2010-07-07T10:47:00.003-05:00

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Ripped from the pages of real life! No, for real, I stepped in something wet last night and then *very carefully* took off my socks without looking at them because I didn't want to know if the wetness was yellow or not. They dried on the back of a chair, and then I put them back on to go out.

My dryer is broken, so I have no clean socks, nor any way to dry wet socks other than by 'hanging them up'.

Don't judge me. If you own pets then there's *no way* you haven't done--or at least thought of doing--the same thing.

♥ds

Fifty-Six: Intellectualsim.

2010-07-04T14:02:00.001-05:00

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My sister, who was a Classics major (who was also a Spanish major; dual degree, not double major), told me a joke about Phoenicians once. I don't remember it exactly, but it was hilarious and way dorky.

For anyone keeping score, the (lightening bolt) "Bolt" character is Hispanic, hence the "jaja", and Mr. Arrow's shirt is the cleverest typography-nerd joke I have ever seen in my life (sadly, not my joke, but the originator has been lost to the sands of the internet).

In other news, my update schedule has been thrown for a loop with this new job. I'd been trying to keep to my thrice-weekly schedule, but it looks like that just isn't going to work out. I'm officially going to have to go to twice-weekly, with no specific days for when the updates happen. Sorry for the indeterminacy, but I do have to make money, afterall.

♥ds

Fifty-Five: Ciao!

2010-06-26T01:19:00.001-05:00

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I got an awesome new job. My old job can shove it; I got an AWESOME NEW JOB!!!

Yay, me.

♥ds

Fifty-Four: Telephone, a Gaga Tribute

2010-06-24T01:48:00.003-05:00

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Significant Lover has been singing "Telephone" non-stop for two weeks. I had to do something about it.

If you haven't seen the Lady Gaga & Beyoncé video for "Telephone" this might not make any sense to you. If you have seen it, I hope you enjoyed the LAPhD take on it.

♥ds

Fifty-Three: Interruptus

2010-06-16T20:59:00.003-05:00

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Today's comic may or may not be directly related to this week's Boilerplate 3.0 post, "Notes from under the ground".

Nah, it isn't. It is, however, symbolic of the many pies I currently have my fingers in. For example, I reopened my LiveJournal account for some diary-style blogging not appropriate for the more journalistic Boilerplate 3.0. But that's just the start of it. Additionally, not only is there Boilerplate 3.0 - The Blog!, but this week will also see the launch of Boilerplate Media (aka BPM), the promotions/marketing company I'm starting, which, in addition to providing me with real freelance work, also functions as the umbrella for my various other media projects, including The 9, Popular Linguistics Online, Life After Ph.D., and The Apophenia of Modernity. AND, on top of all that, I'm still trying to be an academic and get the website for the Texas English Project running smoothly before the end of August. Whew!

I decided to be awesome this month.

Also: Yes, those are vuvuzela.

♥ds

Fifty-Two: Like sands through the hourglass...

2010-06-13T16:47:00.002-05:00

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Prince of Persia was a really REALLY bad movie.

Also, Significant Lover really does have a large knife/dagger collection.

That is all.

♥ds

Fifty-One: Lovesong

2010-06-11T21:24:00.004-05:00

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Absolutely any Sunday-Funnies-style webcomic around today owes a huge debt of gratitude to Randall Munroe and xkcd. Thank you, Mr. Munroe.

However, though xkcd will always be my first love, it's not what got me into webcomic-ing. That honor goes to (a suggestion by my friend, Ali Rex, and) Hijinks Ensue. You're tribute is coming, HE, I promise!

♥ds

Fifty: Tooth Truth.

2010-06-09T15:47:00.003-05:00

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For those of you who don't know, this past weekend I got my tooth broken. Not "chipped" as some people have been saying, but 1/4-of-my-tooth-got-knocked-out *broken*. I have been made ugly. Le sigh...

There are two possible versions of the story of how I lost my tooth. One involves my valiant fight against Nazi Werewolves, one involves an over-excited Significant Lover at the QueerBomb Party. Which is real and which is imaginary? You be the judge.

♥ds

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Forty-Nine.

2010-06-04T18:13:00.003-05:00

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Yeah, yeah, yeah. This comic isn't very funny. Well, there are two reasons for that. (a, the political reason) A 10% chunk of the population being denied basic rights isn't very funny, and
(b, the real reason) There was originally a six-panel Austin Pride hilarity that came before this, and this 'soap box comic' was just tacked on at the end, but because I'm an idiot, I didn't save any of my six-panel hilarity in the process of making it, and then my Photoshop crashed and I lost everything—ALL FOUR HOURS OF WORK, GONE. It was a really, really, REALLY upsetting moment. Here's what the world will never get:

Austin Pride Chairman Chad Peevy as Emperor Palpatine; Non-Profit Ewoks; Sacrificial Ponies; Gay Storm Troopers; Sandra Bernhard as C3PO; a Peevy Media Deathstar; Austin QueerBomb organizer Silky Shoemaker as She-Ra; She-Ra's trusty steed, Swiftwind; dancing; rainbow star explosions.

So pissed at Photoshop right now...

♥ds

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Forty-Eight: The Party's Over.

2010-05-28T13:07:00.002-05:00

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For the record, Significant Lover's Mother has never drunkenly hit on me at a party.

I miss Myspace. I want to leave facebook, but I know it's not possible. Not because I'm addicted, but because not having facebook would be like not having a phone in your room in high school in 1995. It wouldn't be absolute social ostracization, but it would be embarrassing. As far as connecting to people in the modern world, there's just NO OTHER OPTION. This unfortunate fact is, at least tangentially, related to the "Singular Now" post on Boilerplate 3.0. You should check it out.

♥ds

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Forty-Seven: Cute shoes, at least.

2010-05-26T18:48:00.003-05:00

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So, while the Life After Ph.D. characters are not *direct* representations of me, my Significant Lover, and my friends, they're usually pretty close to reality. Anyone who knows me knows how likely I am to have done exactly this. A few of you may even have stories...

But, for the record, this did not just happen. Did not happen, just last weekend. Not at all.

♥ds

Forty-Six: Dominate me, Pac-Man.

2010-05-22T11:38:00.002-05:00

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Pac-Man turned 30th yesterday! I can't believe I'm almost as old as Pac-Man! hehe.

For me, Pac-Man is always shaded with an awkward, semi-borrowed nostalgia because while most people think of this when they think of Pac-Man, I think of this. You see, the podunk town I grew up in didn't have an arcade, so I didn't ever interact with the arcade version of games. The closest I got to an arcade, in fact, was the Ms. Pac-Man cocktail table at the Pizza Hut one town south-east of us.

Le sigh...

No, friends, the Pac-Man I loved was an Atari 2600 port. Watch a commercial for it here and here; learn about it (and all things Atari) here.

Wanna play some Atari on your computer? Here's a great emulator (though, without the black-orange-red joystick, it's slightly less fun).

In other news...
Those sparkly blue stars on Mr. Arrow in the fifth panel are bits of gaybar dance-glitter. You cannot *not* come home covered in glitter if you've gone dancing at the gaybar. [Side Note: It's been said that glitter is the herpes of the craft world, but here in Austin where crafting is a DIY-punk love-in way of life; the herpes of the craft world is actual herpes.]

♥ds

Forty-Five: Welcome, Overlords!

2010-05-20T10:40:00.002-05:00

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I realized I had made the 'Robot Overlords' strip for that io9 challenge, but had never but it up here. So here it is. Enjoy.

...yeah, not much to say today. Carry on...

♥ds

Forty-Four: Meet the Mayor.

2010-05-18T18:10:00.002-05:00

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This is basically what happens every time I try to make new friends.

Forgive me, readers, for it has been six days (!) since my last update. I'm two posts behind schedule and I give you *this*? A Mayor McCheese joke? (For those of you not in the know, "blumpkin" is defined here.)

Yeah, that's right. I did that.

♥ds

Forty-Three: Don't even ask about the stylus.

2010-05-12T14:37:00.002-05:00

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Number Forty-Three is the last of the iPad gags. Probably. That's all.

♥ds

Forty-Two: You better do what he says...

2010-05-10T00:07:00.002-05:00

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I had planned to make a Douglas Adams reference for this, comic #42, but I forgot. Then, when I remembered, I had already shut down Photoshop and I was too lazy to go back in an fix it. meh.

In other awesome ED-209 news, check out this Lego ED-209 instruction set. The ultimate in dork cool.

♥ds

Forty-One: iCanHaz?

2010-05-08T03:04:00.002-05:00

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This very nearly happened last week. Thank dirt I forgot my credit card at home. Hilariously, when I got home, my Significant Lover's response was "Let me see it!" and I was all, "See what?" and he was like, "The iPad!" and I was like, "You told me not to buy it, so I didn't." and he was all, "Oh. Well that's disappointing."

♥ds

Forty: Just wait until May 25th!

2010-05-05T11:45:00.002-05:00

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May the 4th be with you.
Feliz Cinco de Mayo.

To see someone who's already combined these two cultures (Star Wars + Mexico) so much better than I ever could, check out local Austin artist Chepo Peña's "Space Loteria". It's brilliant and beautiful.

♥ds

Thirty-Nine: Welcome to the Ivory Tower

2010-04-30T20:20:00.004-05:00

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If you prefer women in your sexualized fantasies, use the following word-replacements in panel two: John=Jane; during sportsball practice = at the cheerdance pillow fight; my muscles are getting really stiff = I think I got a tickle burn; give me a rub-down = put this lotion on my back; glottochronology = lexical diffusion.

Panel three is a true story. Hand to teapot, True Story.

And yes, in my academic fantasies I'm a wizard... working at Oxford.

♥ds

Thirty-Eight: Anti-Missile Dismissal Missive

2010-04-29T09:18:00.006-05:00

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No, #38 isn't exactly a 'comic' per se. I spent most of Tuesday getting caught up on my Google Reader feed (finally below 1,000!), wherein I found this story on io9 about making your own Tron poster, which linked me to the How To Create A Retro Videogame Poster issue of the Spoongraphics blog. And then I got a little lost in the idea and ran out of time for a proper comic... Oopsy!

The title is a pun that a friend of mine gave me. She took a linguistics class at Harvard wherein her professor pointed out the infinite regress that allows valid words that contain nothing but an unstoppable number of "anti"s before an interminable number of "missiles" (missile. anti-missile. anti-missile missile. anti-anti-missile missile. anti-anti-anti-missile missile... etc.). That kind of crap is the worst kind of pop linguistics. Oy.

♥ds

Thirty-Seven: Comedic Wabi-Sabi

2010-04-25T23:36:00.003-05:00

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Today's comic has been ripped from the moments of this afternoon! That's right, everyone, I started my bonsai garden today. I took a medium-sized Japanese Boxwood shrub and separated it into five small bonsai-style plants. Hopefully, I didn't kill them all.

Why bonsai? Well, I think that more than any other non-English phrase tossed randomly into conversation, mono no aware [mo-no no ahh-wah-ray] really describes how I view the world. I'm just enlightened like that.

(And, yeah, I reused the second panel from #5, but that was *so* long ago and I've changed *so* many tiny aspects of it that I feel I can justify recycling it.)

♥ds

Thirty-Six: Fridays @ the Office make me want to die.

2010-04-23T14:18:00.003-05:00

Alt-Codes are the best thing that ever happened to me. The only redeeming aspect of my job is that I get to spend time dicking-off memorizing alt-codes ("€" is alt+0128!) and claim it's for work purposes. sigh....

There's was going to be an optional second zinger for Thirty-Six, ending in "my workplace butt!" I decided single-punchline simplicity was better, though.

♥ds

Thirty-Five: Game Over.

2010-04-22T00:50:00.003-05:00

Trapped in Mario World, Part 4 of 4.
And so ends our long, strange trip into Mario World. I love making Princess Peach say 'fuck'. I also love love LOVE the "70s Daddy" porntastic styling of Aquaman on the new Batman: The Brave & The Bold cartoon. I had to use that somehow. I think this works. Also, in the first panel, Our Indefatigable Hero is supposed to be wearing Bowser's skinned body as a hat-and-cape (like this), but it didn't work out very well, so he just has a decapitated head hat.

Some other fun Mario Bros-related links:
IRL Mario, from Pixeloo and
Realistic Bowser, from Mario Mayhem.

I hate how the word-action and the image-action can't (or at least don't) always match up in comics. Like here, by the time Mr. Arrow is saying "Oh boy." (Scott Bakula-style), his arm, which he had up during "Baby! Did you...", should have come down. And the thing is, I don't know if I'm supposed to be okay with these kinds of inconsistencies, and maybe try and use them for effect, or if I'm supposed to be working to avoid them. Oh well.

In other news... Two exciting developments. First, I've officially "gone public" with L-A-Ph.D. by entering it in a contest and a webcomic uberlist. I wrote all about it on my blog, which you can find here. Second, I now have a link-banner for L-A-Ph.D. if you'd like to link me on your site! Huzzah! Here's the image:

♥ds

Thirty-Four: Tour the Sewers of Mario World!

2010-04-19T03:38:00.004-05:00

Trapped in Mario World, Part 3.
I love making TMNT characters say 'fuck'. That is all.

Stay tuned for more Mario World culture-jamming in Part 4's thrilling multi-panel conclusion!

In other news... I'm putting new links on the blog today of other gay webcomics. They're good stuff, you should check them out (in addition to checking out the other webcomics and links I've got!). They are:
Viking Zombie Boyfriend
Finn and Charlie Are Hitched
Capitol Hillbillies
and a blog that isn't a gay webcomic, but a gay weblog about comics, Gay League.

Oh! And in other news! No more re-direct to dsbigham.net needed! I got Google Analytics to work with Blogger/Blogspot. Huzzah!

♥ds

Thirty-Three: Casualties of Mario World

2010-04-16T17:15:00.002-05:00

Trapped in Mario World, Part 2.
I am not in any way making light of war. I support UNICEF and the message they're trying to get across with their Smurfs video. ...but I couldn't pass up the juxtaposition of these images. Also, this ties-in nicely to Post 29.

Stay tuned for more culture-jamming in Part 3!

♥ds

Thirty-Two: Duhduh duhduh duhduh

2010-04-14T21:58:00.003-05:00

And so begins a series... this will be 1 of 4 or 5 single-panel issues [SideNote: I've misspelled 'panel' as 'pannel' on the actual filename of every comic so far!]. These tie in thematically with the Endgame post on Boilerplate 3.0.

Stay tuned for more!

♥ds

Thirty-One: SYSLJFM?

2010-04-12T01:09:00.004-05:00

Ahh... recursive masturbation. I'll admit, I've done it (TMI?); irregardless [yes, that's what I said], I've been wanting to do a series of 'recursion/meta-reality' jokes for a long time, and this week is going to be it, starting with recursive self-love. Coincidentally, this is also what this week's Boilerplate post, "Sci-Fi Saudade", is about: recursion, meta-reality, and la recherche du temps perdu.

In technical news, a couple new things with this one. First, it comes with an NSFW warning, heh. Second, I've reduced the typeface slightly. There are so many things I want to do, but the heavy text kills it, so I thought, why not make the text smaller? Let me know if you hate it. I'm beginning to think I need to go a shade lighter on the text backgrounds, too. I don't think the 'glows' are really doing what I had wanted them to. Oh well.

Oh, and for the record, that is *not* my Adam4Adam profile.
I don't even have an Adam4Adam profile.

♥ds

P.S. The headline, "SYSLJFM" is a reference to the alphabet soup of sexual fetishes in the Adam4Adam profile. Hilarious.

Thirty: Casualty of the Format Wars

2010-04-09T16:23:00.003-05:00

Okay, so this is only half-true. I didn't invest in HD-DVD, but I supported it. In fact, if I would have had the money to replace my DVDs with either HD-DVD or Blu-ray, I would have gone HD-DVD. So thank goodness for poverty in this case. As for all the others... ALL THE OTHERS... yeah, I went with Sony and lost every time. Anybody need a MiniDisc player? I've got three of them. How about an SACD player?
Anybody?
Anybody?

Twenty-Nine: Heroes & Villains - The Meta Post

2010-04-07T20:39:00.002-05:00

!!!

Twenty-Eight: This is my body.

2010-04-04T17:16:00.001-05:00

Two things I like about this. (a) "the Bread is Risen" and (b) shirtless Mr. Arrow's abs. Sexy. I was originally planning on doing an entire 'Stations of The Cross' parody for Easter, but I couldn't think of how to do it. Maybe next year...

Twenty-Seven: Good (Enough For) Friday

2010-04-02T17:15:00.001-05:00

One of these things does not belong here, one of these things is not the same...

Twenty-Six: April Fools!

2010-04-01T14:42:00.002-05:00

Ha! The joke is that this is a day late and a punchline short! HA! Ha! ha. heh. eh. ehhhh.... Not very funny, though, right?

Twenty-Five: En Garde!

2010-03-28T22:43:00.002-05:00

I've done 25 of these damn things now. Color me impressed with myself. Number 25, "En Garde", is certainly a good one for the quarter-hundred mark, too. It was inspired by my friend Jess White (actually, she provided the entire outline for it... thanks jess!) and by the Sherwood Forest Faire currently going on here in Austin. I haven't been yet, but I'm planning to go next week. And I've finally figured out how to do a bathroom panel! yay! Expect many more bathroom shenanigans (or Che-nanigans! ha!) for our indefatigable hero in the future...

As for my 23:00h update, well... at least the Sunday update was technically on-time, right?

♥-ds

Twenty-Four: Thus Spoke Zarathustra

2010-03-26T14:58:00.002-05:00

I think the second panel could have also worked if I'd stopped with "polishing my monolith", but whatever. If you don't get the "full of stars" punchline, look at this YouTube clip, this Wikipedia entry , and then follow-up with this Urban Dictionary entry.

For the record, the yellow represents pictures of adorable baby animals doing cute things, like sneezing or sleeping in sinks.

Twenty-Three: Differently Chic!

2010-03-25T01:55:00.002-05:00

I caught my significant lover wearing "fashion glasses" today as part of his "geek chic" look. He KNOWS how I feel about "fashion glasses". Damn him.

Twenty-Two: Comfort Food Zone

2010-03-21T00:31:00.001-05:00

Saturday morning, 6am, took the BFF who wrecked her car to the airport so she could get home and get her hell-trip over with. The other BFF and I will continue to hang until Tuesday, sans ham. South-By-South-Suck, man.

Twenty-One: SXSMadness, 2010

2010-03-18T20:30:00.002-05:00

South By was supposed to be AWESOME this year. The BFFs came down, I'm getting my tax refund tomorrow, it was ALL supposed to work, SXSFUN! But no. The BFF totaled her car, I spent all night in the hospital, all day the next day dealing with insurance and a towing company in the middle of nowhere... ugh. Everyone is fine, but ugh.

Also, I've had a huge crush on one of the guys who works at I Luv Video, and I wanted to make a comic about it.

Nineteen: SXSWi Parties Have the Hottest Guys.

2010-03-15T00:28:00.002-05:00

The 'punch-line' feels a bit off in this one, but I needed something quick & relevant to put up during SXSWi. Life After Ph.D. - Now with Guest Stars! Also, our heroes' arms and legs (and hands and feet) disappear in a dark background, making it more awkward than it otherwise would be, I think. Meh.

Twenty. The Geek/Non-Geek Dating Game

2010-03-14T14:51:00.001-05:00

In honor of SXSWi. I think this one speaks for itself.

Eighteen: "Nope, not that kind..."

2010-03-11T01:08:00.013-06:00

This really happened to me at work. Hand to god. And the 'tits' exchange was longer, with a hilarious misunderstanding over the sexual significance vs. fashionable appreciation of well-made high heel boots. But still, true story.

Seventeen.

2010-03-07T16:06:00.000-06:00

Sixteen.

2010-02-28T21:59:00.000-06:00

Fifteen.

2010-02-26T16:26:00.001-06:00

Fourteen.

2010-02-21T15:03:00.000-06:00

Thirteen.

2010-02-14T19:14:00.000-06:00

Twelve.

2010-02-13T12:26:00.000-06:00

Eleven.

2010-02-07T22:09:00.000-06:00

Ten.

2010-01-31T23:04:00.001-06:00

Nine.

2010-01-28T09:55:00.003-06:00

*Comic #9 was inspired by this story.

Eight.

2010-01-24T19:05:00.000-06:00

Seven.

2010-01-22T15:12:00.001-06:00

Six.

2010-01-20T02:53:00.002-06:00

Five.

2010-01-17T20:57:00.000-06:00

Character Introduction Interlude.

2010-01-15T03:25:00.003-06:00

Four.

2010-01-14T03:30:00.004-06:00

Three.

2010-01-10T23:26:00.005-06:00

Two.

2010-01-03T23:17:00.002-06:00

One.

2010-01-01T23:06:00.001-06:00